As my kids get older and more independent I am discovering I have these blocks of time that are mine to spend as I please. After 17 years of being mainly focused on meeting their needs and wants I am discovering more and more opportunities to be a bit selfish. However I must admit that once I have caught up on my sleep, (and maybe a few shows on Netflix) it can be hard to know what it is I really want to do. This summer I have tried to be intentional in thinking about what sounds fun, interesting, or otherwise pleasurable and then trying to actually follow through and do it. I have had varying amounts of success with this. Sometimes I am not brave enough to follow through. I have put the Contra Dancing at SNAC on my calendar several times now but when it comes time to go, well, I don’t. Sometimes I do not plan well. For example I keep forgetting to call to sign up for the Gorge’s Full Moon Suspension Bridge Hike until after it is full.
And sometimes it is just not meant to be, like this past Friday night when I tried to take myself out to hear some live music. I have been trying to pay attention to local events that seem promising. When I saw that a restaurant/bar in downtown Clarkesville that I had visited before and didn’t find intimidating was going to have a guy with his guitar playing I decided to go. My kids both had plans so I figured I could get a Reuben and a couple of beers and hopefully enjoy the music. I packed some sketching stuff and even put on some lipstick, halfway hoping to be sociable and halfway just wanting to observe. I take myself out to eat often, that is not a big deal, but since this place was a bit more of a bar and there was music I felt like I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone a bit. It could almost have been described as exhilarating. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but I was totally shocked to arrive and the place and find it completely shut down, like out if business, never coming back shut down. No new adventure for me that evening, but I think I am likely to try again.
And I have had some successes. I have been learning a new art form that has been both challenging and rewarding (more about that soon). But I think the best days I have had this summer have been the hikes I have gone on with drawing materials. My visits to Panther Creek Falls and Raven Cliff Falls were both amazing. I had wanted to plan another waterfall hike for this weekend but I let the weather forecast stop me. Yesterday I spent a lazy morning thinking it was going to rain all day, but by mid afternoon when I realized the sun was still out it was too late for a long hike.
I decided to just take Max up to the Gorge instead. We usually just walk the Short Line Trail but since I had brought my oil crayons we did the North Rim instead.
It was incredibly humid as we walked in. The storm that hadn’t shown up yet making the air heavy. We walked briskly to the last outlook you can go to without a permit. By the time we got there I was sweaty and had to drink about half my water to get comfortable enough to feel like I could draw. But the outlook was empty, I got to sit on my favorite bench, and after just a few minutes a breeze came up and the quality of the air changed. I have no problem using the word exhilarating for the feeling of being perched on the side of such grandeur as the light shifted and the cool air swept through. I watched a large bird (I need to learn how to identify them) glide past on the current, and imagined myself along side him. I have been to the gorge so many times but my awe at its breathtaking beauty has not decreased at all.
I think that each time I have visited my eyes have been especially drawn to the red-roofed house visible above the the trees on the other side. When you drive past it on 441 it does not draw much attention, but from the outlook it calls to me. The juxtaposition of the man made structure sitting so close yet somehow seemingly oblivious to nature’s dramatic carving of the earth is captivating. Every time I visit I think about drawing the scene. I have photographed it countless times; I think in every season. Yesterday I was finally prepared, there with paper and oil crayons and no one rushing me to the next view. Max found a shady spot to lay down and for an hour I just sat and drew. I draw all the time, and in all sorts of settings, but there is really something special about drawing in nature. The picture itself turned out okay. It doesn’t quite capture what I wanted to convey, and I rushed a little towards the end when it seemed like the promised storm was finally going to arrive, but the experience was delightful. I am almost glad it is not great because it means I can start planning on when I can go back and try again.
One thought on “My Time”
I’m so glad that you are finally getting those much deserved chunks of time to yourself now that the kids are older! I wish I was closer because I’d dearly love to take those hikes (call about the full moon hike tomorrow! Set it on your calendar! And if it’s already full try to sign up for the next one right then. 😊), and see live music with you. The stage of life that you’re entering is awesome, and it only gets better from here.